Finding My Place

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“In this interview, Hunter Bergen shares what it was like to grow-up never fully feeling like you fit-in anywhere, to embracing outdoor sports like climbing and hiking after the loss of her mother to mental health. She highlights the healing power of nature on mental health and her commitment to environmental advocacy. Hunter underscores the importance of small actions in addressing environmental issues and the need for open conversations about mental health in the outdoor community. Looking ahead, she aims to inspire others by blending adventure with advocacy for a sustainable future.”

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide

Background

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It’s hard to tell my background without getting into rambles of all the nitty gritty details… because as a chronic over-explainer, I feel the need to paint the whole picture so that every detail makes sense and feels justified… but your life doesn’t have to be justified. So, here is my attempt at sharing the overarching experiences that I believe have shaped me into who I am today.

Photo of Hunter Bergen and her mother provided by Hunter Bergen

In a lot of ways I feel like I had a pretty stable upbringing - I grew up in Maple Ridge, a town 45min east of Vancouver, BC Canada; Living in the same house for the first 21 years of life, down the street from my day-1 kindergarten best friend, went to high school with pretty much all the same people I knew from elementary, stayed in French immersion from K-12, parents stayed together throughout my childhood, most of my free time was spent on school work or outside or playing imaginary games or creating short films with the childhood best friend.

In high school years I did much more of the same but also found photography and cooking and god (spoiler alert - god is gone for me lol) … in a lot of ways I’d say I was a pretty lucky kid.

I loved to read, write, create, play, climb, run around, be in the grass and the trees and the dirt, bake, cook, make movies, take photos, dance…

But looking back on it as an adult, I see the trauma that was experienced but went unrecognized. Never abuse, but definitely things that were too big for a young child to have to navigate. There were many health problems in the family, which inevitably took a toll on everyone’s mental health - something which was never talked about or taught at any age.

I was a pretty good kid and the definition of a teachers pet lol. I spent a lot of time as a kid never feeling fully comfortable with the other kids, and I think this made me cold and unwilling to be a truly empathetic person in a lot of ways, and often found ways to avoid spending time with them by staying inside at recess to help the teachers with random tasks.

I always had friends or a friend group, but I always felt like I never fully clicked into place with the rest of them - which honestly made moving between groups really easy for me and maybe appeared careless to others.

I spent a LOT of time either outdoors or at my best friends house down the street as a way of escaping the discomfort that was felt at home. The outdoors was my safe place - whether it be climbing the trees at the park, my friend’s house or my house; racing bikes around the neighborhood; playing in the backyard; curling up under a dozen blankets on the covered patio during the winter… I really did spend most of my time outside, in all weather conditions, whenever I could.

Photo of Hunter Bergen as a child
Provided by Hunter Bergen

Things changed a bit once I got into my teen years and friend groups and priorities changed - but it’s easy to see this is also when I became increasingly more disconnected with myself.

I fell into a large, dysfunctional friend group - a quarter of whom were really religious. I somehow got involved in this and it became a large part of my life for a number of years. I certainly started to question my faith more once I got into university and started having more critical conversations with others about religion and beliefs etc., but without going into too much detail, it was after losing my mom to suicide that everything changed for me, and life got a whole hell of a lot more real.

It’s been a journey since then, but being confronted with the impermanence of life in such a brutal way, really does leave you re-evaluating your whole life.

Who’s actually important? Who’s actually aligned with you, your life, your goals, your values? What do you want and how can you get it? What do you believe in? What boundaries need to be set? Why do you want these experiences? And how are you going to make it happen?

How I saw it, I either had one of two choices:

Sink into the same despair that took my mom

OR

2. Live my life as fully and authentically and joyfully and messy as I possibly can.

It hasn’t been easy, and it’s definitely been messy, but it’s turned into an even more beautiful life than I could’ve ever imagined.

I still love to read, write, create, play, climb, run around, be in the grass and the trees and the dirt, bake, cook, make movies, take photos, dance…. I think little me would be pretty proud.

What inspired you to make climbing, hiking, backpacking, and kayaking your main outdoor activities?

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I think it’s as simple as I love being outside, and finding new ways to enjoy being outdoors is like getting to be a kid all over again everyday.

Growing up as an outdoors kid, I think it was inevitable that I would get into these sports (just took a while to get there lol). I didn’t grow up kayaking, but I did grow up boating with the family and getting thrown around on a tube or skis pulled behind the boat; climbing wasn’t a prevalent sport in my life, -

but I did attend some summer camps where one of the activities would be going up an easy outdoor wall or a kids birthday party at an indoor gym; we didn’t grow up backpacking or hiking, but our family loved to walk easy trails in parks or along the Pitt River dykes, and our family holidays were usually camping trips or trips in the motorhome.

Photo of Hunter Bergan as a child Provided by Hunter Bergan

I remember my first ever “legit” hike was with a group of friends (90% of whom had never hiked either) doing an overnight on Golden Ears - a well-known challenging local trail… we could not have been any less prepared or experienced for this adventure! Oh, the mishaps and absolute ridiculousness of that trip still makes me laugh.

It was the only weekend that rained that whole summer (not even exaggerating), and it basically rained 2 months’ worth of water… But we were all keen as, had planned this trip for months and went with the flow of how equally miserable we all were. It’s funny because most (if not none) of those people have since gotten into backpacking… but for some reason for me, I fell in love with what I soon learned to be called “Type 2 fun.”

I’m not surprised I got into these sports though - being raised as an outdoor kid, I think it was inevitable I’d find my way to these sports. I have my Uni partner and friends to thank for this though - as it wasn’t until I was 19/20 that I started actively getting into these activities, thanks to the guidance of those people.

I LOVE spending my time outdoors, but it was always as a kid climbing trees, biking around my neighbourhood, camping at Alouette lake, swimming, or living in a tent in the backyard over summer holidays… Getting into these sports always felt really intimidating, and not having anyone in my life yet to show me how to get into them created a big barrier for myself at the time.

How do your outdoor sports influence your understanding of environmental issues?

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I think pretty simply in that I see and experience the issues - whether it’s dealing with litter left behind by others on the trails; extreme temperatures making trips more challenging or unmanageable; parks I grew up going to weekly, now, getting more and more restricted and inaccessible; trails getting closed due to climate disasters; having to reconsider where you’d like to live long term because some places might not be liveable in the next 20-30 years… it’s impossible to avoid it when it’s happening in real time, right in your own backyard.

I think if I was someone who didn’t make time outside a priority, it would be easy to not let the realities of climate change feel overwhelming… but when you face it on a day to day basis, even just in small recreational examples like I’ve listed, it’s hard to ignore, and if I want to be an active participant in leaving this world a better place for future generations, I have to at least try and understand the environmental issues that are happening.

Can you share an experience where your outdoor activities directly impacted your mental health?

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The first time I ever went on a solo adventure, I knew my life was never going to be the same. It was just under a year since my mom had taken her own life, i’d recently finished my bachelor’s in architecture - a degree I realized I never wanted to touch, we were in the midst of ending first rounds of covid lockdowns, I’d just come back from tree planting for the first time, and my partner at the time whom I thought was going to be my forever person had unexpectedly just left me… To say I was not in the best place would be the biggest understatement of the year lol.

A friend of mine and I were both going through it for our own reasons, and we had decided we both needed time in nature with no service - so we made the plans to go away to Sombrio Beach for the long weekend (a stunning spot along the Juan de Fuca trail on Vancouver Island). However,… the day before we were supposed to leave, she bailed… and she was my ride… My car at the time was a little Electric Nissan Leaf with the capabilities of only getting me max 100km per charge… not the vehicle you’d need to get down a no-service logging road.

I was desperate for this trip - so I remember begging my dad to let me borrow his car for the weekend. He was worried about my safety… fairly enough, being a 22 year old young girl going off somewhere with no service on her own was a reasonable reason to be concerned as a parent.

But I remember saying to him that he needed to trust I was capable of taking care of myself, that I needed this trip, and that realistically once I moved out the next month, he wasn’t going to be able to tell me no to things like this anyways.

This trip changed my life. I connected with lovely strangers, I cried a lot, I journaled lots, I took photos again for the first time in a long while, I moved my body, I rested, I drove with the windows down and blasted music… I remember leaving that place, driving down the winding road through the forest, sun shining through patches in the trees and thinking “this is how I want to live my life.” I felt free, connected, and full.

That trip didn’t cure my depression, but it gave me a glimpse into what my life would turn into if I continued to prioritise time in nature and intentional connection with myself.

Now, here I am, 5 years later - 2 years living out of a van, feeling the most at peace and connected I ever have in my short 26 years of life, living dreams I never thought possible or thought would take me decades to achieve.

How do you incorporate your passion for environmental action into your travels?

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I think this is still evolving for me, and isn’t always exactly as good as I’d like it to be. The ultimate goal would be travelling completely zero emission - either by bike, walking, sailing; growing or harvesting my own food; running off regenerative energy, etc.

But for now - it’s shopping at the small local shops in the towns I visit, only buying what I need or REALLY want, to avoid contributing to mindless consumerism, purchasing package free options/avoiding single-use as much as I can, not visiting or partaking in unethical excursions (like zoos), etc.

What are some specific environmental initiatives you’re involved with, and how can others contribute?

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At the moment I’m not directly actively involved with any of these organizations, but a few I actively keep up to date on and hope to do some [more] work with are:

I’d also love to give a shoutout to Cristina Mittermeier. She’s an incredible photographer and activist whom I’m seeking a lot of inspiration from for my work moving forward.

Photo of Christina Mittermeier Instagram

How do you balance the thrill of adventure sports with the responsibility of being an environmentally conscious traveller?

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To be honest I think I’m still navigating this question for myself. I think at the moment I do a pretty decent job of keeping my carbon footprint lower than the average individual - I eat a plant-based diet, I live in a van that is fully powered off solar, I don’t shop much, and most of my adventures are done locally.

Photo of Hunter Bergen by Daygin Prescott

But the reality too is that my van runs on diesel, I’ll still go for one off adventures that require big days of driving just for a weekend/week-long trip, I don’t always by from the small local stores because they can sometimes be more expensive or not open at the time I’m doing my grocery shop, I’ve flown between Australia and Canada more than once in the last year, etc.

But as I become more adventurous and attempt bigger, more involved trips in different parts of the world that inevitably will involve more long-distance travelling, I do wonder what this will mean for being an environmentally conscious traveller… I don’t think I have the answers to this yet and am hoping this will actually be a learning opportunity for me as I move through this next chapter of finding balance of being a responsible activist, while still enjoying my life to the fullest.

Photo of Hunter Bergen by Anne-Marie of @little.red.wolf.photography

What role do you think nature plays in mental health and well-being, particularly for travellers?

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I think it plays a huge role. It’s no secret that time in nature is good for our health - especially our mental health. I actually just recently wrote an article for Unyoked https://unyoked.co/ covering the importance of quality intentional solitude as a solo traveler, and how we navigate that when we’re going through a period of loneliness. A large component of that article highlights the positive impact intentional time in nature has on our mental health. I just submitted it this morning (Feb 16), so at the time of writing this, it is not yet released on their site, but hopefully real soon!

Photo of Hunter Bergen Publication on unyoked.co

Can you tell us about a memorable trip where you focused on both adventure and environmental advocacy?

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Untrashing Djulpan - The Miyapunu Fight

In September 2023 I was lucky enough to get to join one of Sea Shepherd's remote beach clean-up campaigns in far Northern Australia on Arnhem Land. We spent two weeks living out on a beach that was a 3-hour access road drive from the nearest town, no service, in some of the hottest and muggiest conditions.

Photo of Hunter Bergen by Rebecca Griffiths

We were definitely roughing it out there, but we did a great job working as a team to make it a successful campaign! We were in high Salt Water Croc (salties) territory, so swimming was a no-go unless we had indigenous rangers confirmation it was safe to jump in for a quick rinse off - so that was interesting to know that at any point there could just be a crocodile on the beach with you lol.

The days were long, and the work was tiring, but getting to live outside for two weeks at the ocean while doing something good for the planet was a really rewarding experience.

I think aside from the amazing people I got to work with, my favourite part was getting to stay back an extra couple days with our campaign manager to talk with the local schools about Sea Shepherd's work and the importance of Ocean protection and advocacy.

Particularly with the elementary school kids (ages 8-12); the conversations we were having with the younger kids felt so inspiring and hopeful and was such a reminder of why education is SO important. The younger we talk to the kids, and the more frequent we talk with these kids, the more we inspire and create a well-informed and well-intentioned generation. Kids are a lot smarter and a lot more aware of what goes on around them than we give them credit for - it’s necessary we include them in these important conversations.

I’ve attached a link to the highlight video that goes into more detail of our experience at Djulpan. I definitely hope to take part in more of these cleanups in the future.

Sea Shepherd **Untrashing Djulpan - The Miyapunu Fight**

What advice would you give to someone looking to combine their love for outdoor sports with environmental action?

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Don’t be afraid to do things imperfectly. I think for many of us it’s easy to fall into the “all or nothing” mindset, and to think if we’re not doing it perfectly or in a big grandiose way, then what’s the point? But this is a dangerous and ineffective slope to fall down.

The reality is that we can’t all care about every single issue with the same amount of passion and put in 110% effort into every important cause happening around the world - it’s a lot, and it’s overwhelming, and can only leave you feeling more helpless. But that doesn’t mean you should choose to do nothing.

Signing the petition is better than not signing it at all. Sharing the post is better than not sharing it at all. Signing up to the informative newsletter or following that environmental education account is better than not engaging at all. Choosing to buy your produce from that small corner store down the street every now and then is better than never walking in.

I think it’s when we choose to stick our heads in the sand and pretend the problems don’t exist that it becomes problematic. You don’t have to be the next Annie Ford setting new world records and raising heaps of money for climate change to be making a difference and creating an impact; you can just as simply be one of the people who spends two minutes signing a Bob Brown Foundation petition to protect the Takayna Rainforest.

Photo/Link of Bob Brown Foundation Website

It’s about doing what you can and remembering that every step towards a positive direction is one step closer than we were before. Just don’t become complacent.

How do you think the outdoor community can better address mental health issues?

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I think we’ve got to keep talking about it. Be the example in your circle that gives people the permission to be open and vulnerable with their mental health journeys. Create safe spaces for people to be themselves and not feel like they have to suppress or hide how they’re feeling. Of course, be mindful and respectful in how you do this - don’t go asking invasive or personal questions when it’s clearly not an appropriate time or space to do so… and when you do get to a space of diving deeper into emotional states with someone, continuously check-in.

Ask if it’s okay to ask a certain question, or if they’re comfortable talking about it; remind them that they only have to share if they want to. Ask if they want advice, your support, or just someone to listen. Avoid talking about yourself or your own experiences when someone is being vulnerable in with their experience - doing this makes it feel like you’re taking away their opportunity to be vulnerable, and makes it feel like you’re not actually listening to them or truly hearing what they’re saying.

I think also continuing to create opportunities for people to connect in meaningful ways - like mentorship programs or hiking groups. When we can create genuine connections, it fosters a healthy community - and when we have healthy communities that thrive on a foundation of trust and support, you get healthy people.

What challenges have you faced in promoting environmental awareness while engaging in outdoor sports?
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I think aligned with my answer to a previous question, but the feeling of not doing enough, or like I don’t know enough to effectively take action or spread the word. It might be attached to a bit of imposter syndrome, but it’s easy to think “who am I to be preaching what we should or shouldn’t be doing to protect the environment?”

It’s more of a personal challenge, I think… I get easily emotional or reactive when people close to me don’t seem to care as much as I think they should… It’s easy to get sucked into the spiral of all the negative news happening around the world, and all you want to do is scream at the fact that some people genuinely just don’t give a shit, or don’t believe it’s even happening.

I think for the most part, the people who engage in these sorts of sports aren’t part of that problem. Most people in these sports are there because they love the outdoors, and it’s an important part of their life. I think the challenges mostly come when facing people who AREN’T engaging in outdoor sports frequently or genuinely.

What are some of your favourite locations for outdoor sports that also highlight the importance of environmental conservation?
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As a traveller, I have a lot of favourite places to go - Squamish and Cheakamus Valley, Golden Ears, the Blue Mountains, and key things I notice is that the more touristy a destination gets, the more trashed it gets… ie. literally more trash/litter left on the trails, people camping in unmarked areas, playing loud music on speakers, etc. so it’s hard to pick just one, because I see it everywhere I go.

But I think the experience that felt unique to most of my other encounters for recreational adventures and seeing the necessity for conservation, was hiking the Larapinta Trail in August of 2023. That winter I was working as a tour guide for my WHV, and most of my tours were doing day trips to the highlight spots along the West Macdonnell Ranges for tourists - which is the 600+ km mountain range you travel ~230km of for hiking the Larapinta Trail.

One of the things we point out to tourists is Buffel Grass - an incredibly invasive species that has begun to dominate the Outback.

Because the Outback is a nesting ground for uninviting and unforgivable weather conditions, the vegetation has evolved to be quite resilient to these harsh conditions. It’s pretty incredible the defenses they’ve created to survive the brutal temperatures and the inevitable bush fires; but buffel grass is not native. It hasn’t adapted to the outback conditions and is therefore highly flammable and stubborn. It’s taken over a lot of the landmass, and therefore, when conducting control burns, or someone throws a still lit cigarette out their window, it’s very easy for fires to get out of control and burn far more and far quicker than they’re meant to - turning them into pretty devastating climate events.

We saw this happen on our hike - barely 3 days into our 14 day trek, the sky was filled with smoke, and the first two sections we had just completed were now shut down due to a routine control burn getting out of control. We were lucky - had we started a day later, we could’ve been having to change our trip plans, or even worse… caught in the fire.

What I found really interesting though, was the change in density of the buffel grass dependent on where along the trail we were. The further away we were from the day trip easy-access locations, the less buffel grass there was. Now maybe this was just coincidence, but it got me thinking about the boot brushes you find at some trailheads around Australia and the strict rules at the airport to ensure your hiking/camping gear is clean before entering into the country.

It’s easy for invasive species to spread when we give them the opportunity to attach to us or our means of transportation, and unintentionally/unknowingly release them into new territories. My theory is that you saw less buffel grass deeper into the trail because whatever seeds had attached to you, had already dropped off, and because there was no more around you to then attach to you, there was no more way to help it spread.

I don’t really recall there being many areas that had zero traces of buffel grass - but there were definitely areas where there was a noticeable lack of them.

This signalled to me the importance of taking things like the airport rules and those trail boot brushes more seriously. You may think it doesn’t make a difference, and it doesn’t matter… but it does. These rules aren’t put in place to inconvenience you; they're there to protect these beautiful places for generations to come.

How has your perspective on nature and travel evolved through your experiences?
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I think I’ve become more forgiving of myself. I used to be pretty harsh and strict on myself in a lot of ways - to the point where it did actually have a negative impact on my mental health.

I would feel guilty if I bought food in plastic wrapping, even though I was hungry and there was literally no other option around. In a moment like that [I now view it as] the priority is making sure I’m taking care of myself, and knowing that I’m always doing the best I can, and asking myself ‘what could I do differently in the future to minimize the chance of me needing to do that again?’ taking them as learning opportunities, rather than beating myself up for not doing it perfectly.

I think I've also become better at navigating conversations with people and am more empathetic towards where people are at with their decisions they make for themselves. I don’t think I was ever a “pushy” advocate - like those stereotypes you can often see for vegans who get angry and nasty towards people who aren’t vegan (ps. I am vegan, and have been for almost 8 years now); but I was definitely more intense and reactive in how I responded, and was deep in the research and online media of what happens in the meat and dairy industry, so it always felt like a fresh wound I was dealing with.

Do I wish more people who are aware of the problems did more to make changes in their personal life to reflect their beliefs? Absolutely. But I also wish I did more to better align with my beliefs - so who am I to judge where others are at?

I believe the more we can live our lives with the idea of leading by example, and the more patient/understanding we are with ourselves and others, the more impactful and sustainable change we’ll see.

What future projects or goals do you have related to environmental action and mental health in the context of outdoor sports?

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I think for me now it’s levelling up and getting more connected. There’s been many series of events over the past 5+ years that have led me to be more focused inwards on my journey with mental health and environmentalism, which has been really important and crucial for building a strong foundation of self that I know I can always come back to. But I feel I’m finally stepping into the next chapter of my life where I feel really grounded and solid in who I am and what I value.

I want to challenge myself now by getting more vocal and collaborative with people and organizations who are leading by example and making an impact. I want to be connecting it with more writing and storytelling through photography and videography. I don’t have an exact format of what this looks like, I just know I want to push myself physically so I can say yes to more epic adventures, incorporating mental health advocacy and environmentalism, and create alongside inspiring people.